Trip to Singapore (Part 2)

This maybe my longest entry, however whatever we starts, may have an end. So, this is my second part of the story..Anway despite of silent treatment by my so-called aunt, I managed to look in positive aspect of the trip. Beside being awarded $40 (Singapore dollar) by the IT company for the hassle their put me through to write their story, I still managed to get some `duit raya' from some elders in the family. Well, it is a surprise, being a working women (aha!), they said that this is my reimbursement of not able to come to Singapore for the last two years. Next year, I'm the one who will be giving out the duit raya to them :( Aside from that, I managed to improve my relationship with my so-called step cousin brother (this is his phrase: 'step-cousin') which been left in despair for the last four years because of the miscommunication and argument via e-mail. Sometimes, I wonder would it be ok for me to forget and forgive him, but anyhow my heart long for the good old days again. I still remember how close we are, playing football together (he uses forces against me as I the only cousin with the closer age gap), fighting and crying..how I miss those days. But somehow, things change a lot. I think people also changes along the line..In whatever ways we use to repair any relationship, I think it would be never be the same again. That's what happen..But deep in my heart, he is still a big brother to me, protecting and scolding me at anytime..Apart from that, this trip also saw an amazingly changes within all my counsins. Hid..especially have grown into a very beautiful young girl (this is an honest remarks) and secretly I am honoured she is in the same line with me aka mass comm, and Hid..I would like to see you 'glow' girl, in the industry. Anyway, keep up the good work though..and as for Fara, eventhough I miss seeing her, I believed, she too has grown into an amazing girl despite of her misfortune since childhood. She will be the most courageous and firm young lady, good luck. As for other cousins, I welcomed the newly entry in the family -- MOHD FADHIL OSMAN (not sure of the spelling), who are more than 20 days old. May ALLAH lead your to beautiful journey of life and protecting you all the way to the top. And for not so new entry to the family -- SUFYAN HADI SELAMAT (not sure of the spelling either!). Congratulates, you have been in the family for more than two years now, may your journey continues to be smoothly and may ALLAH bless u all the way. And for other cousins, who I have not mentioned, you still have a long way to go as I do (until the day I died.), I love you all..and the second part of the journey ends here. (To be continue..)

Trip to Singapore (Part 1)

It has been nearly two years, I haven't been to Singapore, due to some personal problems and financial problem, I thought the job offered by my boss, covering an IT company event last Thursday, was a good opportunity for me to get-together with my relatives. However, it changed badly, for the first day..I arrived in Changi Airport at about 9 am, which was an hour earlier for my assignment. Because of money and I miss MRT so much, I decided to take MRT. Basically, this is my first assignment outside Malaysia, consider Singapore as overseas, which I think more like my hometown. I was nervous and at the same time excited. This is my first assignment overseas, and I would like my boss sees me as his potential good worker. So I decided to do my very best. The first hour at the media briefing was boring, as the company is IT company and some of the reporters were more to technicality than business angle. Anyway, I have my way of doing it afterwards, so the job part was not so difficult for me, as I had attended many briefings on IT products and had experience in writing IT story.
However the hardest part is when I met my auntie later at Raffles Hospital's Banquet. I was excited as I have not seen my aunt (my mother's side) for years, however the scene turn sour after an hour later. She was starting accusing me of not keeping my promise to go to my grandma's house that day. She said, my planning to stay one day at my auntie's house (my father's side) was not a brilliant idea. She keep blaming me and accusing me in harsh tones, which apparently made me shouted back at her. I was not meant to do that, but somehow I was devastated, as my real intention after the job is basically to spent some times with them. By blaming me of not loving them and tried to accuse me of staying away from them, were rubbish. My love for them are still strong but at the same time they have to respect me as I used to respect them when I was a child. It hurts me so much as she keep accusing me of not keeping my promise and stayed away from them, which were not true. We finally made a scene in front of public, which was the first time. I hate it but I cannot stand the scene. I reach out my handbag, ready to go and could not face all the accusations, when she said that I was not brave enough to face, which I thought I cannot carry on with the conversations. I was crying hard at that time. My mind thought of leaving the city at the same day. No point of staying if no one appreciate whatever I was doing. ONLY because I decided to stay one day at my aunt's house (dad's side) to finish my work before going to my grandma's (mom's side) the next day. So, for the next two to three days, I have to bear with her actions. Fortunately, her sisters, my other aunties, did not mention the issues after the day's of argument. I don't know if all of them knew, but whoever knows about it are keeping it safely under their blanket. Lucky me..Sometimes I wonder if they still think me as their little niece or their niece which has grown up and basically have her own life to think of. However, deep in my heart, they are still my aunties and I love them dearly.. (to be continued...)

Bent

This is what I felt right now..need somebody to hold on........

"If I fall along the way pick me up and dust me off
and if I get too tired to make it be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love give me more than I can stand
and when my smile gets old and faded wait around I'll smile again
shouldn't be so complicated just hold me and then
just hold me again can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together
you're breaking me in and this is how we will end with you and me bend
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded just phoning it in
just breaking the skin start bending me
It's never enough I feel all your pieces start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then just touch me again."

So, how about helping me get through all this.....