Living Live Vigorously

Living Live Vigorously by Amir Muhammad..an eye-opener for me. The first damn serious indi film. The second one I watched after "Gedebe" last year. And this is my review..

"Vigorously" . According to Oxford Compact Thesaurus (2001 edition) it can be relate with strongly, powerfully, forcefully, energetically, heartily and any other words which similar with it. In the film, the director/producer are doing an insight on how the Indonesian perceived their countries, leaders, development, environment during the Soekarno's era, Suharto as well as current leader like Megawati and Susilo. During the film was filmed, Indonesia was in the mid of election campaign between Megawati and Susilo. And who win? The answer was already answered. I remembered how I was tortured by one of the lecturer who is teaching Political Science during my last semester in UiTM. Such a strict lecturer who had passion for Indonesia Politics and had written two books about it. (maybe more, I could'nt remember). And one of it is Wiranto. Another strong icon in Indonesia politic.
In the film, many question been given, and many different answer were given back. Some of it 1) How do you describe Soekarno and Suharto? 2)What makes them differ with each other.. 3)Who do u choose? Susilo or Megawati? The interesting part u, it opened your eyes entirely on how Indonesian really perceived outsider and many more. One element that really impressed me was how the Indonesian really refered themselves as one like for example : Saya orang Indonesia tapi berketurunan Cina. which that thing never happened here. I'm not sceptical here, but just reminding the fact. The fact is we always referred ourselves as Malay, Chinese, Indian etc etc. Not as Malaysian. Not that I praising Indonesian but this thing happen. How often do u see that Indian mixing or hanging out with Chinese/Malay. Not often for me. I remembered during school, most of my friends are Indian and Chinese. Only few Malays are my best friend. And why? Malays are sceptical..only want to friend with their clique and with those who have same interest. I remembered how the same clique always get chance to perform in school play and school competition, without giving chances to others. Yes, I am jealous. Jealous with friends that always get good things without even work for it. And hate teachers who always adore them and treat them with special treatment, without realising that teacher should not show their adoration towards certain students. But everything that happens always have a good reason with it. My Indian and Chinese friends helped me always in building my confidence especially while talking English with them. Never look down on me, but helped me in a way as if I am belonging. Everyone that I've been friend with, has a role somehow in building "Nor Baizura Basri" to be what she is today. Always accepting me for not who I am but as who I am for them. And for my few Malay friends, they're the ones that taught me "friendship is forever, no matter where you are, who you are and what you are", and until now they accept me without any "charges". How "Living Live Vigorously" reminds me of old time. I will always adore and cherished old time, which taught me how to face my ownself.

If (1910)

I realised that I beginning to like travelling on ERL..not because it was more faster than LRT (in long distance), but because I had come across so many good poems in the train..This is one of them....

If

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie was'nt a lie,
Life would be delight,--
But things could'nt go right
For in such a sad plight,
I wouldn't be I

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense,
But I'de be in a suspence,
For on such a pretence, You would'nt be you

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee, Things would seem fair,--
Yet they'd all despair
For if here was there
We could'nt be we..

Cinta itu bukan milikku

Orang kata cinta itu pengorbanan. Dan inilah yang kulakukan demi seorang kawan dan seorang abang. Namun, aku redha..sesungguhnya orang yang bersabar dan kuat, disayangi ALLAH. Itu pemikiranku. Walaupun hati ini pedih dan terluka, aku kuatkan hati untuk menempuh cubaan yang lebih besar. Semua pemikiran dan kudratku, kulimpahkan pada pekerjaan. Selama ini penantian yang sia-sia, namun aku hargai setiap bibit kenangan agar ianya terus segar dan mekar. Kuberdoa agar ditemukan dengan insan yang setia dan menyayangi diri ini sepenuh hati..Semoga kesedihan ini akan berakhir. Terima kasih sahabat2 yang sentiasa manyayangi dan mengambil berat diri ini. Semoga kalian terhindar dari kesedihan yang ku alami selama ini. Insya-Allah.

Stress week

It's been a stress week for me..Commodity reports and all things that related to it, has made my life miserable, the whole week. But..as always I accept it as one of the obstacles that I have to go through to make my life, a level better. And I am looking forward next week, as "pay day" is arriving very soon. Next week, still doing the commodity report but it will be boost by my salary..hahaha. I think it will be more stressful, if the boss decided for me to understudy the money market, it would be more than stress but hell. So, it will better for me to cherished the free time that I have now..What a life...

It may not always be so; and I say

On my way back in ERL from Putrajaya last month, something caught my eyes..It were poems written by E.E Cummings, a US Citizen, long-long time ago..And this is one of his poems..

It may not always be so; and I say

It may not always be so; and I say
that if your lips, which I haved loved, should touch
anothers, and your dear strong fingers clutch his heart,
as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as I know, or such
great writhing words as, uttering over much
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;
if this should be, I say if this should be
you of my heart, send me a little words;
that I may go unto him, and take his hands
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then I turn my face, and hear the bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.

P/s: This poem actually reminds me of someone..Sorry...

Umurku baru 24 tahun ini..tapi aku rasa dah banyak benda aku lalui..Saat2 kematian, tanggungjawab, kerja dan lain-lain lagi..Masa kecil, bila tengok orang dewasa, tak sabar nak melangkah ke alam kedewasaan..Tetapi bila dah dewasa, rasanya bagai mahu pulang ke-usia remaja..Usia di mana aku masih boleh lari dari tanggungjawab. Tapi..ini bukan bermakna aku dah bosan dan ingin lari dari hidup..tetapi aku cuma mahu berehat sebentar. Kalau boleh mahu kembali kepada perasaan berusia 17 tahun..Walaupun sibuk dengan SPM, tapi semasa umur itulah aku rasakan keseronokan hidup ini..Hairan bukan..tapi ini kenyataan..Hanya AKU dan AKU sahaja yang mengetahui apa yang berlaku ketika itu..Masa itulah aku rasa hidup ini INDAH...

Sepet..The love story

Love..is a general word and more affectionate word to describe what we feel. Love..can become hatred and love can unite people..That's my description about love. Before this, there had been several cases, which I fell in love and been dumped after a certain period. I also dumped people after that..which made me realise love is not great at all. I forgot about everything else.Love between family members, friends, relatives and anyone beside love between a man and a woman. I always take things for granted and I realise I am not the only one. After watching Sepet, I suddenly realise, love is not only about a man loves a woman, or vice versa. It is a feeling where you can give to almost anyone..especially giving back to the ones who love you, no matter who they are. The same day before I went to watch "Sepet", I quarrelled with my mum, telling her everything about my feeling which also telling her my emptiness. After the movie, the first thing I want to do after reaching home, is I hugged her and apologised, but I don't. My mum like always, remain calm as if nothing has happened earlier that day. I feel very stupid, telling her my real age and at the same time acting like a 12 year old. Speaking my hearts out with a yell! Yes, I did that and it was a stupid thing to do. Not long after that, I regretted. My words were harsh and eventhough she did the same thing, I don't have the right to yell back at her..It's not right..The thing is I love her very much and I would'nt let anyone came near..but it jush a bad thing and I have no idea to show my true feelings..